The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
