how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
