either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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