it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize