i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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