Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
