i need an iv and a liver transplant
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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