Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
