i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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