I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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