So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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