I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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