Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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