hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize