I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You took a bar mat shot.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
