shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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