A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I could have mohawked her pubes.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
