woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
