how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
