Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you will always have a special place in my vag
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
