I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize