I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
