Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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