Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so let's talk penis.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
