I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You have to summon your inner elephant
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
