i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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