I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Who put my cat in the fridge?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
