Already got asked if we're dating
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
