soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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