My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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