:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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