I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
