Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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