Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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