I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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