We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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