girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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