I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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