u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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