In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
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Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
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I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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