I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize