the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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