I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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