from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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