Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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