Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
