sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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