I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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