Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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