what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
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We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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