Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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