Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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