I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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