I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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