Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
