I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize