Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize