my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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